Parenting

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As you might have guessed if you’ve ever read my personal blog, I’m not a big fan of ‘quality time’ with my children.
 
When I say quality time, I don’t mean coffee and cake in my local Starbucks – I’m excellent at that – I’m talking proper old fashioned quality time, playing games, baking cakes and gluing bits of old pasta onto cardboard.
 
Sometimes though, just sometimes, I come across games that I actually don’t mind playing. Like dominoes. I don’t know why, but I can play countless games of dominoes before the twitching kicks in. Or any sort of card or memory game, (good for the whole ‘getting old’ thing). Or draughts. But no one will play that with me because I always win.
 
I’m also a big fan of Orchard Toys. (And not just because we have a game from them that makes actual burping noises, although that obviously helps too.) The beauty of Orchard Toys is that they are designed to be educational, so you’re killing two birds with one stone – having fun and making the kids learn stuff. Genius. I also really like the size and shape of the little cards. I know it’s weird but I just do.
 
Their all time bestseller, Shopping List, is a personal favourite. Not only is it a memory game, (check), but it also has really lovely, chunky square pieces. And you know I love that.

Other favourites in our house include Pop to the Shops   and Bus Stop.
 
They really are lovely games, simple enough for even young children to engage with them, and not wander off to watch Cbeebies, and bright and colourful enough to keep even me interested. They are great value too, and make lovely gifts. We’ve given loads as birthday presents in the past - partly because they are so easy to wrap, but also because you look like you’ve surely spent far more than you have.


 

So, if pasta collage isn’t your thing, Orchard Toys are definitely worth a look.

By Jo Middleton

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To celebrate Breastfeeding Awareness Week, we have a post today from Laura, mum to Logan, and writer of  ‘The Breastest News’. Laura is writing about her experiences of breastfeeding, a tricky topic for so many mums. How did you get on with breastfeeding? Did you love it from day one, or bottle feed from the start? We’d love to hear your stories…

With so many controversial statements and health advice these days on breastfeeding, I thought it would be a good idea to share my experiences with everyone. Lots of women choose to breastfeed and lots of women bottle feed their babies so here is my story of what I did.

When I first became pregnant my partner and I never discussed how we would feed our baby as we had always just assumed I would breastfeed - it is a natural thing to do, and something that is great for the baby and the mother, not only for the health benefits but for the bonding experience as well. We progressed through my pregnancy well and made a point of not buying any bottles or milk, to give me extra encouragement to breastfeed, although my mind was already firmly set on it.

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Today’s post is from Charlotte, Mum of 3 and Director of Not Just Another Baby

In the last few weeks of pregnancy most of us are so eager not to be pregnant anymore that we spend hours fantasising about our former body (or at least an idealised recollection) and how it will feel to have it back again.

Everyone generally has a post-pregnancy pair of jeans that they cannot wait to get back into. You look at them with longing (especially the bum) thinking how wonderful it will be when you shimmy yourself back into your old favourites.

You weren’t too indulgent during your pregnancy and everyone keeps telling you how amazing you look, besides it will be so liberating not to be carrying another human being around that it won’t take long to get your energy levels up and you will make the most of your maternity leave by exercising at least twice a week – it will take no time at all to get your body back, in fact it will be even better than before! Read the rest of this entry »

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Today we are going all literary. Well, it’s a poem at least… Our very own Polly wrote this for her friend Vics when she was expecting her first baby – and she has kindly shared it here. We love it!

Words of Wisdom for Vics

You got through the sex part
(no drama for Vics)
All that counting your cycle
Peeing on sticks

Then comes the sickness
Each morning YOU HURL
And the aches and the pains
And exhaustion – you GIRL!

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Today we’ve got a new perspective on the blog from a stay-at-home Daddy. Tim Atkinson is a former Assistant Headteacher. He is the author of several school text-books as well as the novel, Writing Therapy. His blog – Bringing Up Charlie – is his day-to-day account of his life as a stay-at-home dad.

Apparently more dads are doing what I’m doing. Some reluctantly, maybe; some out of necessity. But according to one recent study there are ten times more dads staying at home while mum goes back to work than was the case a decade ago.

Well, you could’ve fooled me.

I’m still very much a dad in a mum’s world in the circles I move in. And when I first told people of my plans to give up work and stay at home with the baby, reactions ranged from the amused to the incredulous. ‘At home dads’ just aren’t what most people expect to meet. Although there are a few more men at the toddler group I go to, they’re mostly doing it because it fits in with their shifts. One guy is a driving instructor, and finds Wednesday afternoons are relatively quiet; another is a fireman, and comes when he’s on nights. And, like the mums, they find a stay-at-home dad something of a curiosity.

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Boys often get a bad press – sure they are energetic, and often noisy, but with that comes a passion and sense of fun. Today we have a post from Emily Vest, in defence of all things boy!

Emily writes the Brits in Bosnia blog about living in the north-eastern city of Tuzla in Bosnia with her long suffering husband, two energetic boys and food obsessed dog.


For some reason boys aren’t really celebrated. People will flash a look of sympathy at the mother trying to extricate her mud covered sons from half way up a tree. With two boys of my own, I’m quite used to that sympathetic look. But I have to say, I like having boys. I love their energy, their passion, their cuddles, and their sense of humour. I love that they will climb anything and I love that they offer to teach our neighbour’s daughters the same tricks.

I asked a couple of other ‘mothers of brothers’ what they most enjoy about their boys. The mothers responded with enthusiasm and affection, relishing the chance to say why boys are a joy and not just because their nappies are easier to clean and our houses aren’t inundated with pink.

The affection of our boys is a constant delight. ‘They are affectionate, loving and cuddly – with me and with each other. Brothers might bash each other over the head sometimes but they are terribly loyal. Boys adore their mummies – mine are like a couple of baby bear cubs when they cuddle up to me in bed in the morning’, says Nappy Valley Girl. We don’t know, not having a daughter between us, if it is the same for girls, but we like that our boys love their mummies and hope that in our dotage we will have some lovely young men to be protective of us. But it is bittersweet, for there is always the worry that our boys will move away from us when they marry. Already we sympathise with our mothers in law.

In our experience, boys just seem to be more straightforward. ‘They don’t have friendship crises with their friends.,’ says Ella. ‘They just get on with it. They say nice things to and about their friends. Those they don’t like? well, I don’t think they even think about them much less say anything nasty to them or about them’.

Then there is their sense of humour, which could never be classified as complex. ‘Boys think bodily functions hilarious,’ says Angels and Urchins, ‘never stop laughing at slapstick humour (they could watch someone having a custard pie slapped into his or her face all day long) and love being tickled. It’s sweet. I love it’. Looking at the grown up boys you can see this isn’t a phase they are going to grow out of. And when I stop having my grumpy Mummy hat on I have to concede that most of the time it is pretty funny.

Boys are ever so brave, bordering on foolhardy. They will give anything a go. They will climb that tree, learn how to do tricks and jumps. When they fall they laugh and pick themselves up and do it again. Their Mummys get brave too, for as they do all these things, so we end up doing them too. ‘My boys make me braver..’ says Califlorna. ‘I now climb to the top of tall climbing frames to rescue them, cross rope ladders to give them confidence, follow them down half pipes on my skis so that I don’t lose them and ‘get air’ on my sledge following them down the hill.’

Those not used to the energy of boys can find it unnerving.  ‘When friends who only have daughters visit they clearly think our household is out of control,’ admits The MadHouse, ‘as the boys race each other around the kitchen on scooters, have competitions as to who can jump the furthest off the sofa or up in the air. I am used to it to the point of being oblivious (it’s only bleeding or the possibility of a Mike Tyson boxing match that will cause me to stop them). I like it. Not sure why, but it’s so basic that I find it rather endearing’. So yes, occasionally we look in envy at those girls who sit quietly colouring in as our sons are last seen attempting to climb the bookcases. But all that energy does makes them quite straight forward to deal with.

All the Mums agree that a bit (oh alright then, a lot) of fresh air is needed to tire them out. Fresh air play is terrific, messy and life affirming. ‘I love all the mud and muck,’ says Ella. ‘I love that even just going on a walk round the block becomes an adventure, with scary dragons and brave knights at every corner.’ It seems that giving ‘boys plenty of exercise and feeding them every two hours’’ reaps wonderful benefits.

‘I love my boys’ joie de vivre the most.,’ says Diapers and Dragons. ‘They just throw themselves whole-heartedly into everything they do’. There’s no half hearted with boys. They will climb the highest tree. They will ask every possible question about the life cycle of snails and a few that are less possible. They will run and run but they are rewarding, loving and life affirming. Yes, boys should be celebrated for they are terrific.

With thanks to the Mothers of Boys – 23 of them between us and not a daughter in sight.

Brits In Bosnia (www.britsinbosnia.blogspot.com) Nappy Valley Girl (www.nappyvalleygirl.blogspot.com) , Califlorna (www.califlorna.com), Angels and Urchins (www.angelsandurchins.co.uk/blog/), The MadHouse (www.themadhouse-themadhouse.blogspot.com), Most/Least (www.mostleast.com), Diapers &Dragons (www.diapersanddragons.blogspot.com) , Baby Baby (www.sandycalico.blogspot.com ) and The Potty Diaries (www.potty-diaries.blogspot.com )

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Here at Cuddledry we love a good gossip and sharing secrets. Do you have a parenting confession you’d like to get off your chest? Go on, you can tell us…

In this post, Susanna Scott reveals all about dummies. Susanna has three children — all born within a three-year time span. When people hear this their eyes usually widen and say something like “you must be busy!” She has been a working mum and a stay-at-home mum, with some variations in between.  After a career in journalism and marketing, she took three years off to reflect on how the heck she went from charging around Europe to charging around the play park. She recently re-entered the workforce, and is pleased that she hasn’t lost as many brain cells as she feared. You can read more at her blog, A Modern Mother.

I have a deep, dark secret.  I have hidden it from my closest friends for years.  I tried to hide it from my mum, but she eventually found out.

My children used dummies until they were practically young adults.

OK, I’m exaggerating, but it sure seemed like my life was governed by dummies for ages. I should have given them up earlier, but as the years went by they became harder and harder to extricate from our lives.

I wasn’t even going to offer my first born a dummy. I was dead set against it. I wasn’t going to have one of those kids you see on the high street with a runny nose and a dummy stuck in their mouth like a plug in a bath tub. Oh, no, not me.

But when I brought Emily home from hospital, she weighed barely five pounds.  She ate every few hours.  In between she would cry. A lot.

It was my father who first suggested a dummy. There’s nothing wrong with dummies he said. A dummy would soothe her.

So I went out and bought one. And when Emily predictably opened her mouth for her afternoon wail, I seized the moment and plunged the dummy in to her mouth.  I waited for her to spit it out, but she didn’t. Instead, her tiny mouth enveloped it with the suction of a vacuum cleaner. The next day I went to Mothercare and bought one in every available colour and shape.

When Alexandra came along 18 months later, Emily was still attached to her dummy. The day after we arrived home from hospital, the health visitor stopped by.  When she was ready to leave, a snotty-nosed Emily crept into the room, dummy in mouth, and grunted at her.  The health visitor was not impressed.

There’s been a big change in her life, I argued. Now is not the time to take away her dummy.

The problem is, there is never a good time. Every time we thought about taking away the dummies (Alexandra had picked up her big sister’s habit), I had another baby. Or we moved country. Some years we did both.

The “dummy fairy” finally came last year. We put the dummies on the window sill with a note to give them to a family who needed them.

You know what – the girls don’t miss them. Not one bit. I’m just kicking myself for not taking them away earlier.

Photo credit: clevercupcakes

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