Coping with pregnancy and adjusting to life with a new baby can be tough at the best of times, no matter how long you’ve waited or how thrilled you might be at the prospect. So imagine how much tougher it must be if you never planned to become pregnant in the first place.
Today on the Cuddledry blog, Sandra Hart talks honestly about her experiences of finding out she was pregnant – and single – at 28 and how she feels now about parenting. Sandra also blogs for The Under 5s Network.
I’ve just got home. There are toys all over the lounge, toilet paper all over the floor. Cornflakes scattered around the kitchen and a pair of knickers by the door.
Welcome to the house with a 4 year old.
It wasn’t always like this. In my former life I was more house proud than Kim & Aggie with OCD. Everything had its place and everywhere was tidy. I worked hard, I partied hard and I made sure I had a spotless place to retreat too – occasionally!
And then I fell pregnant.
Deciding whether to have an unplanned baby is always a tough decision – especially when you’re single.
But there I was. 28 and pregnant. Could I do this? Did I want to do this? Could I go through with a termination? What would my parents say? My life, as I knew it, was over.
I was going away the next day to Bruge, chaperoning my grandma, and so had the perfect excuse to ponder what to do without people wondering why I was sober!
It took an innocent trip to a museum to make my mind up. I fell down a marble staircase and instinctively put my hand around my tummy.
And so I had to start contemplating my life as a single mum. Would I cope? Probably not. First things first I had to inform the folks who were supportive – eventually! I gave up my 2nd floor flat and moved into their house to save money. Sleeping on a sofabed isn’t to comfy at the best of times but being pregnant made it awful. Fortunately I didn’t actually start to show until I was about 34 weeks so it wasn’t too much of a problem.
I then managed to put down a deposit and buy a house. I remember sitting on the floor in my new house, 5 months pregnant thinking, what the hell happened!?
At 38 weeks I found out that my daughter is as stubborn as me and likes to prove people wrong too. I’m dreading the teenage years! The midwives kept telling me I wasn’t in labour and had to go home – 24 minutes later I was sitting there waiting for tea and toast and amazed that I had a beautiful little girl.
Trying to adjust to being a mummy is without a doubt the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve travelled alone, moved around the country for work and run one of the toughest pubs in Essex, but they were all a walk in the park.
Suddenly I had somebody who relied on me for everything. Trying to get my head around that was difficult and, to be honest, I’m still trying!
Learning all the different cries and how to clothe, feed, care for a newborn is such hard work.
But it is also the most rewarding job I have ever done. My beautiful little baby is now a gorgeous little girl and we have the closest bond you can imagine.
She is feisty, head strong, warm and funny. She has turned my life upside down and filled it with reason. And I love her for that. It’s been tough but it’s been worth it. I don’t miss my old life at all, why would I?
Visit the Cuddledry website – as seen on Dragons’ Den!
Parents are often one of the hardest working sectors of Great Britain and, more often than not, the most forgotten. Many reports come out telling us that we’re doing a bad job, that our kids are going to grow up into horrible people who will either turn to violence, drink or drugs – or all three.
- posted on 09/02/2012 09:04:37
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